


the years shall run like rabbits

by catmittens



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Homophobic Language, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, mostly wanted to write about ash's bond with him, skip had to have had some caretaker so i gave him a grandma, so I'm gonna fix that, takes place around two years before the main story, we have like no info about skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 00:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16398056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catmittens/pseuds/catmittens
Summary: It feels like it's been an eternity since then, but the memories stay.(A meditation on childhood.)





	the years shall run like rabbits

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: A little later in the story, Ash refers to Marvin using homophobic language. Please keep in mind that Ash is a child, no matter how intelligent he is, and I can't imagine he would always know the right thing to say when talking about people who abused him. So when trying to make sure that Skip stays away from him, all he's able to say is that "he's a homo," possibly hinting at internalized homophobia for Ash.
> 
> Sorry for the long-ass note, but I wanted to be sure that readers would understand my intentions and not feel uncomfortable.

Wherever Ash went in the neighborhood, Skip was glued to his side more often than not.

 

For a while Ash tried to brush the younger boy off. “Go play with some kids your own age, will ya?” or “I’m going to the _bar_ , kid. They don’t let toddlers drink.” The latter only got him a weakly aimed kick at his ankle, Skip’s sneakers scuffling on the pavement.

 

“You’re a kid too!” he complained, and continued following him.

 

In the end, no one even cared that a nine-year-old was in the bar as long as he was with Ash Lynx. The guys even seemed to like him as he swiveled around on a stool and sipped the Coke that Ash got him.

 

A burly regular in his twenties sat down not far from them. He guffawed at the sight. “This your new right-hand man, Ash?”

 

“Yeah!” Skip exclaimed at the same time as Ash’s deadpan “No.” The regular laughed again and took a long swig of his beer.

 

“Seriously, though,” said a voice behind them. Ash turned around and saw someone from his own crew, whom he honestly didn’t know very well. What he _did_ know is that the guy hung out with Arthur most of the time. His mouth was drawn up in a strange smirk.

 

Suddenly Ash felt irritated. “’Seriously,’ what?” he gritted out.

 

The guy snorted out a laugh. “Just wonderin’ if he’s one of Golzine’s kids is all.”

 

With that, a ferocious heat flared in his belly. He jumped down from his stool and fixed the guy with a glare. He didn’t plan on pulling out his gun, but his hand still itched.

 

Skip and the others now looked at the scene with alarmed eyes, having not heard the exchange. The bartender was on it right away. “Whatever’s going on, cool it. I don’t need this crap today,” he told them, his voice gruff and loud.

 

In his head, Ash counted to ten and clenched his fists. Arthur’s pal still smirked with a poisonous look in his eyes, but with a mocking sigh, he turned around and waved his hand. “See ya around, Ash.”

 

When Ash sat back down, Skip jostled his shoulder. “What’s up with him? Did he say something bad?”

 

 _I think so_. Those words were on Ash’s tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer with his anger still burning inside. Instead, he tapped his fingernail against Skip’s empty bottle. “Want another Coke?”

 

* * *

 

Skip continued tagging along with Ash, but those days Ash complained a lot less about it. He would see Skip bound down the steps of his apartment and find himself smiling as the kid ran towards him.

 

Ash’s gang was getting more and more used to Skip’s presence as well. Again, this was _Ash Lynx,_ so even if they did think it weird to see their kid boss with an even younger kid, they’d just have to take it in stride anyway. Most of them ended up treating Skip like a little brother, laughing as the boy begged them for a sip of their beer or to try one of their cigarettes (Alex did let Skip have a puff one time, and after practically hacking his lungs out, he never asked again).

 

Another thing about Skip was that he loved comic books. Sometimes he’d sit on the floor of the gang’s hangout with a huge pile of comics that his grandma (whom he lived with) had bought him from the convenience store.

 

“Man, _Archie_ is for babies!” Skip groaned as he grabbed for the new issue of _The Amazing Spider-Man_. “Why does she always get me that one?”

 

Bones gasped, offended. “What about _Jughead_? I love that one!”

 

“He’s okay…” was Skip’s begrudging reply as he kept reading. Ash chuckled, settling next to Skip as he flipped through the pile. He had never gotten to read comics that often, but the stories were familiar enough.

 

Times like those carried a type of warmth and comfort. No barking orders, no guns firing, no having to listen to _his_ voice or feel _his_ hands.

 

After some time passed, Ash told Skip what he was willing to tell about Griff, and Skip promised to look after him when Ash wasn’t around to do so. His brown eyes shined with sincerity.

 

If Ash had been able to remain a normal person, maybe he would have been more like Skip. Ash had these thoughts more often than he wanted to admit.

 

Sometimes he felt jealous that Skip at least had his grandma. He only saw her every once in a while, standing on the stoop and watching Skip make his way over. She was a small woman with a tired-looking face and frizzy gray hair pulled into a bun. There was a frailty about her as she stood there in her flowered dresses and worn slippers, although her eyes were always clear as she looked at Ash. He could tell that she didn’t completely trust him. Why would she? He had a cute face, but he was still another white punk roaming the streets. She knew about gangs and the problems they carried with them, no matter how young.

 

Ash thought of Griffin, sitting in his chair and staring into space. Sometimes it felt like he recognized his younger brother, and for a bit Ash’s bones would be light. But most of the time, Griffin’s eyes were dull, knowing nothing.

 

When Ash allowed himself to look into the eyes of Skip’s grandmother, he saw the fear. She was afraid of what might be waiting for Skip as he grew up, and Ash didn’t know what to do when he saw it. Maybe that was why he tried to push Skip away at first, but now, like it or not, he had become a part of this world, and Ash just didn’t know what to do.

 

 _It’s better if you don’t trust me_ , he thought, and looked away from her gaze.

 

“I got a bunch of new comics, Ash!” Skip’s grin is so bright.

 

“Yeah? Let’s go show the guys. You got the new _X-Men_?”

 

* * *

 

Life went on and everything was business as usual. Skip was, for all intents and purposes, a full-fledged member of the gang and helped Ash and the guys any way he could, whether it was bringing them food, getting information, or looking after Griffin.

 

Ash never told him the full story about his past. The kid probably heard Golzine’s name once in a while, but he didn’t know the extent of Ash’s relationship with him. Naturally, everything involving Blanca also remained a secret. The only thing he could do was carry that weight on his own.

 

Aside from the skeezy jobs Golzine had Ash doing in the shadows, there weren’t that many conflicts that his guys had to get involved in. Ash was grateful for that, and he surprised even himself by working to bring most of the gangs in the area together. Shorter’s guys in Chinatown would always be more of an outlier, but as long as they kept the peace, there wasn’t anything to worry about.

 

Skip’s grandma remained wary of Ash and all the rest, but she could at least acknowledge them with a nod and a brief wave. It was obvious that she felt sympathy for most of the teenagers and young men around there, so while her heart didn’t exactly melt, it _was_ warming up.

 

For a long time, the old woman was the only adult Ash could remember without a huge helping of anxiety clogging his head.

 

So the days were normal, the nights were normal, everything in between was normal.

 

(The nights when Ash had to spill blood, he did his best to ignore. He hadn’t cried in years now.)

 

One early afternoon, Ash was in the convenience store getting some drinks; a diet Pepsi for himself and a regular Coke for Skip, who he was expecting to see any minute now. He was feeling nice, so why not?

 

He paid for the drinks and left, the September air crisp and smelling faintly of car exhaust as he opened the door. Sure enough, he spotted Skip standing by the fenced-in basketball court talking to a man in a suit.

 

A man in a suit.

 

Marvin.

 

Ash’s throat felt thick, the revulsion now threatening to choke him. _Get the fuck away from him!_ He wanted to scream at the sicko. But he didn’t. Marvin appeared to be done talking to Skip, because he grinned (or leered) at him and walked away. He didn’t see Ash, thank God.

 

The look on Skip’s face was very… unsure. He wass looking at his hands, which were holding something, a candy bar, it looked like. Ash didn’t hesitate and rushed over.

 

“What’d that guy say to you?” he demanded.

 

Skip still wasn’t looking at Ash, opting to look at his shoes now. “Nothin’… he gave me a Milky Way and asked if I should be at school…”

 

“Did he touch you? Did he put his hands on you at all?” The more Ash talked, the more hysterical his voice sounded. His hands, balled up into fists, were shaking. His stomach churned.

 

“N-no! He didn’t touch me. Like I just said, he just gave me this and kinda talked to me. It made me feel weird…” Now he lifted his face and looked right at Ash, concerned. “Ash, do you know that guy or something?”

 

“Um…!” Ash had no idea how to explain this. He didn’t know what Marvin is doing in the area, if he was looking for him, or if he was running an “errand” for Golzine. All he knew was that he had to make sure that if Skip saw him again, he _ran in the opposite direction_.

 

Anything to make sure he didn’t end up as gross on the inside as Ash.

 

Putting as much venom in his voice as he’s able to, Ash says “Stay away from that pig Marvin. If you see him again, you _run_ , you hear me? H-he’s a nasty homo. He’s sick.”

 

Ash was feeling pretty sick himself right now. Skip looked stunned.

 

“Well? You hear me?”

 

A tentative nod. “Yeah, I hear you.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Ash smiled unsteadily. “Good. And don’t eat that.” He yanked the candy away from Skip and tossed it in a nearby trash can. He handed him the Coke instead and started walking toward the hangout. Skip wasn’t far behind, same as always.

 

September passed, and although Ash saw Marvin around once or twice, he didn’t talk to Skip again. The pressure building in Ash’s chest started to ease up.

 

He had to meet with Golzine one cloudy evening. He stood far enough away that the man didn’t touch him, only talked.

 

Eventually he was told he could go. He stiffened when Golzine’s huge hand patted his head in a mockingly paternal gesture. He ignored the guards as he left as quickly as he could.

 

It was dark outside by then, but Ash knew his way home by heart. He heard someone’s boombox in the distance along with faint laughing sounds. A couple of cars sped by as he tromped along the sidewalk.

 

When he got to the apartment, he leapt up the stairs two at a time and rapped his knuckles on his door. “It’s me,” he called.

 

After a moment, Skip opened the door wide. “Hey, boss!”

 

“All good?”

 

“For sure!” They both went inside. Skip jabbed his thumb at another door. Griff’s bedroom. “He’s asleep,” he explained. “’Bout an hour ago.”

 

“Thanks,” says Ash. He fished out a couple bucks from his jeans pocket and handed it over. Skip cheerfully stuck it in the pocket of his overalls.

 

Ash felt like saying something. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

 

Skip shook his head. “Nah, Grandma sent me here with food. She made a sandwich for you too, so I put it in the fridge.”

 

“Oh…” Ash rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing how to respond. “She didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Don’t worry about it! She’s always doing stuff like that.” Completely carefree, Skip flopped down on the floor next to his backpack. “By the way, I told her that I was gonna stay here tonight.” He made his eyes go big and round. “I can, can’t I? I brought tons of _X-Men_ comics with me. We can look at them.”

 

The lightness that Ash sometimes felt in his bones started to return. “I mean, if you brought them just for me…”

 

The two of them spent the rest of the night reading the comics and arguing about who the best X-Man was (Skip liked Colossus best, while Ash liked Rogue). Ash ate the sandwich, made from leftover pot roast, and secretly marveled at how good it tasted after all that time spent in that fancy house listening blankly to an old man’s orders.

 

When Ash noticed Skip’s eyelids starting to droop, he set down the comic he was reading. “It’s like, midnight, kiddo. Let’s hit the sack.”

 

“Already?” Skip tried for a grimace that ended in a huge yawn. “Ugh, okaaaay.”

 

They both shuffled out of their clothes, Ash throwing one of his old t-shirts to Skip for pajamas. His hand paused over the light switch for just a second. He clicked it, and it went dark.

 

After climbing onto the lumpy mattress where Skip fell asleep almost immediately, Ash laid there and listened to his friend’s soft snoring. The bed wasn’t really big enough to comfortably fit two of them, so their legs knocked together and Skip’s bony elbow poked Ash’s ribs.

 

There was a memory from years ago, of Ash and Griff lying next to each other in a bed of similar size, all alone in that house. Griff always fell asleep first, the sound of his breathing incredibly soothing.

 

Outside, a dog barked, and an ambulance siren cried in the distance. Ash’s chest was no longer so tight. He allowed himself to stop thinking for a bit, under the long blue shadows.

 

_Go to sleep, Aslan._

He slept.


End file.
